How to kill a protagonist.

Blimp.
    This girl person, whom I have refused to give the bare necessity of a name is really really boring. I don't know if you've noticed? Thing is, killing her off is a fairly difficult to do. She needs something stupid enough to match her stupid hair.
     This is essentially what happened...
     'Hello? Is anybody here?'
     'Yeah'
     'How improbably convenient.' Said she.
     'What can I do you for?' said the improbable convenience.
     'Where am I?'
     'Where are you? Why you're in Chisel of course!'
     'Chisel?'
     'Chisel.'
     'Where exactly is Chisel may I ask?'
     'What a silly question! Chisel is here of course!'
     'Yeah I gathered, but where is here?'
     'This is Chisel, I just told you that.'
     'So you did, but I want to know where Chisel is...'
     'Why do you want to know that? You're already here!'
     'So I can get as far away from here as possible to be perfectly honest.'
     'Oh, so where do you want to go?'
     'Anywhere.'
     'Oh Anywhere! That's over there by That.'
     'What?'
     'No, What is in the opposite direction to That.'
     'What!'
     'Yes What.'
     'You're insane!'
     'No, I'm an improbable convenience. No wonder nobody likes you.'
And with that, it left.
You still following?
    So Dickface Mcgirl or something took a wonder and walked in some sort of direction or something to find some non-specifics until something else something'd it's way into the scene. Scrumptious.